the days of my life-第51章

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urns。　The　bad　years　were　upon　us；　and　rents　fell　rapidly；　moreover　the　repairs　required　were　legion。　Also；　from　one　cause；　and　another；　little　or　nothing　came　out　of　the　African　property；　which　shared　in　the　depression　that　followed　on　the　giving　back　of　the　Transvaal。
Under　these　circumstances；　outside　members　of　my　own　family　our　visitors　were　few；　and　in　the　main　we　had　to　rely　on　ourselves　and　our　little　children　for　pany。　I　should　add　that　in　1884　another　daughter　was　born　to　us；　who　is　now　Mrs。　Cheyne。　She　was　named　Dorothy；　after　the　heroine　of　“The　Witch’s　Head；”　or　in　full；　Sybil　Dorothy　Rider。　My　recollection　of　this　period　is　that　it　was　rather　lonely；　at　any　rate　for　me；　since　my　friends　were　African；　and　Africa　was　far　away。　However；　I　worked　very　hard；　as　indeed　I　have　done　without　intermission　since　I　was　a　rather　idle　boy　at　school；　both　at　writing　and　the　study　of　the　Law。　Between　the　intervals　of　work　I　took　walks　with　a　dear　old　bulldog　I　had；　named　Caesar；　who　appears　in　“Dawn；”　and　a　tall　Kaffir　stick　made　of　the　black　and　white　umzimbeet　wood；　which　I　still　have；　that　reminded　me　of　Africa。　At　times；　too；　I　got　a　day’s　shooting　on　our　own　land　or　elsewhere。
However；　I　had　so　many　resources　in　my　own　mind；　and　so　much　more　to　do　than　I　could　possibly　pass；　that　all　these　matters　troubled　me　not　at　all。　I　was　determined　to　make　a　success　in　the　world　in　one　way　or　another；　and　that　of　a　sort　which　would　cause　my　name　to　be　remembered　for　long　after　I　had　departed　therefrom；　and　my　difficulty　was　to　discover　in　which　way　this　could　best　be　done　—　in　short；　to　search　out　the　line　of　least　resistance。　So　I　possessed　my　soul　in　patience　and　worked　and　worked　and　worked。　Often　I　wonder　what　estimate　those　who　lived　about　me；　and　whom　I　met　from　time　to　time；　formed　of　the　studious　young　man　who　was　understood　to　have　been　somewhere　in　Africa。　I　imagine　that　it　was　not　plimentary；　for　if　I　understood　them　they　did　not　understand　me。
Some　pleasures　I　had；　however。　My　journeys　to　London　to　eat　my　dinners　at　Lincoln’s　Inn　were　a　change。　So　were　the　examinations；　though　these　I　faced　with　fear　and　trembling；　having　read　up　for　them　entirely　by　myself；　which　I　imagine　few　people　do。　Occasionally　some　of　my　old　African　friends　came　to　see　me　when　they　were　on　visits　to　England。　Thus　Sir　Theophilus　Shepstone　came；　and　with　what　delight　did　I　wele　him！　Here　is　an　extract　from　a　letter　of　his；　in　which　he　alludes　to　his　proposed　visit；　dated　from　London　on　May　26；　1883：
I　have　only　just　received　your　note　of　the　23rd。　I　see　that　you　sent　it　to　the　Colonial　Office；　but　I　have　not　yet　been　there；　for　I　don’t　think　they　care　much　for　me；　except　perhaps　a　few　personal　friends；　and　with　the　same　exception　the　feeling　is　mutual　as　far　as　I　am　concerned。　I　think　I　shall　make　my　number　there　about　noon　on　Monday　for　the　purpose　of　seeing　those　I　care　for；　but　for　nothing　else。　I　shall　be　very　glad　indeed　to　have　a　look　at　you　again。　How　is　your　good　wife？　I　hope　well　and　strong。
Another　letter　from　Sir　Theophilus　in　this　year　has　some　allusions　of　more　general　interest；　so　I　ost　of　it：
1　Charles　Street；　London：　August　21；　1883。
My　dear　Rider；　—　Your　warm…hearted　and　to　me　most　touching　farewell　letter　reached　me　last　night　on　my　return　from　a　few　days’　rushing　about　the　country　to　say　some　good…byes。
I　am　sure　I　need　not　say；　although　it　is　pleasant　to　me　to　say　it；　that　all　the　affectionate　feeling　which　I　know　you　entertain　for　me　fills　a　warm　place　in　my　heart　for　you　and　for　your　dear　wife。　May　God　bless　and　prosper　you　both！　Of　course　no　one　can　tell　what　may　happen　in　the　future；　or　whether　this　is　a　permanent　or　only　a　temporary　parting。　At　the　dinner　which　was　given　me　by　the　Empire　Club　Sir　Robert　Herbert　spoke　of　me　and　of　my　services　in　the　most　remarkable　language；　and　said　plainly　that　I　was　still　a　young　man　so　far　as　capacity　for　work　went；　and　that　he　hoped　soon　to　see　me　discharging　some　high　function；　etc。　for　the　good　of　the　country；　and　so　on。　It　appeared　as　if　he　spoke　from　some　intention　of　which　he　had　knowledge；　but　my　friend　W。　Sergeaunt；　who　sat　next　to　me；　said　that　if　such　a　speech　had　been　made　by　anyone　else　it　would　have　meant　a　good　deal；　as　it　was　it　meant　nothing；　perhaps　so。　Of　course　every　day　I　have　in　England　adds　to　my　consciousness　of　the　influence　that　I　could　exert　if　I　tried；　but　what　is　the　use　of　it　with　such　an　abject　Government　as　now　rules　and　will　for　years　to　e；　I　fear；　rule　England？
I　am　glad　that　my　speech　did　not　wholly　disgust　you；　I　had　no　idea　that　the　dinner　was　to　be　what　it　was；　still　less　did　I　expect　that　reporters　would　be　there；　so　I　congratulated　myself　when　I　sat　down。　I　shall　look　forward　to　the　publication　of　your　book　with　a　great　deal　of　interest；　the　trouble　is　that　the　real　merits　of　a　book　are　not　the　measure　by　which　it　is　meted；　as　crushed　strawberry　is　preferred　to　the　beautiful　natural　colour　of　the　fruit　because　it　happens　to　be　the　fashion　of　the　season；　so　with　books：　even　they　must　pander　to　the　taste　of　the　hour　whether　it　be　good　or　bad；　or　they　will　not　be　read　and　therefore　not　bought。　I　hope；　however；　that　the　taste　will　be　good　when　your　book　es　out；　because；　if　it　is；　I　have　no　doubt　of　its　success　。　。　。　。
Always　affectionately　yours；
T。　Shepstone。
Towards　the　end　of　this　letter　Sir　Theophilus　says　he　is　sailing　in　a　few　days　for　South　Africa。　I　do　not　think　that　he　ever　saw　the　shores　of　England　again。　It　is　needless　to　add　that　Sir　William　Sergeaunt　was　right　in　his　estimate　of　the　value　of　Sir　Robert　Herbert’s　speech。　No　further　permanent　employment　was　ever　offered　to　him。　Indeed；　it　was　after　this　date　that　the　persecution　of　him　began；　of　which　I　have　already　written。
In　1883　Osborn　wrote　me　a　letter　concerning　some　imantophyllum12　plants　that　he　had　collected　for　me　in　Zululand；　which　at　this　moment；　twenty…eight　years　afterwards；　are　blooming　in　the　greenhouse；　in　the　course　of　which　letter　he　makes　some　rather　interesting　remarks。
12　One　of　these　plants　was　still　blooming　in　Sir　Rider’s　bedroom　in　1925。　—　Ed。
Zulu　Reserve；　via　Stanger；　Natal：
August　2；　1883。
。　。　。　The　place　I　am　living　at　now　is　about　a　hundred　miles　south　of　Inhlazaty　and　is　one　of　the　loveliest　spots　in　South　Africa。　I　have　a　very　fine　forest　within　half　a　mile　of　my　house；　and　a　sea　view　a　good　sixty　miles　along　the　coast。　My　position　here　as　supreme　chief　representing　the　paramount　Power　is　certainly　an　improvement　on　the　last。
You　will　have　learnt　ere　this　of　Cetewayo’s　fate。　It　could　not　have　been　otherwise：　he　was　bound　to　e　to　grief；　as　from　the　day　he　set　foot　in　Zululand　—　since　his　restoration　he　has　never　ceased　in　doing　that　which　he　ought　not　to　have　done。　He　proved　himself　to　be　as　bad　a　character　as　ever　wore　a　head…ring。　It　is　to　be　hoped　that　he　will　do　better　in　the　happy　hunting…grounds　whither　he　betook　himself　on　Saturday；　21　July；　through　the　persuasive　influence　of　several　gleaming　blades　and　sundry　rifle　bullets。　As　to　myself　I　am　getting　thoroughly　sick　and　tired　of　this　dark　country　full　of　dark　deeds　of　evil　and　violence。　。　。　。　I　suppose　that　by　this　time　you　will　have　developed　into　a　full　blown　barrister；　and　I　need　not　tell　you　that　from　my　heart　I　wish　you　every　success。　You　ought　to　try　for　an　appointment　as　Attorney…General　in　a　colony　（Crown）；　as　you　have　the　pull　of　private　practice　in　addition　to　your　official　employment　in　such　an　office。
It　is　evident　that　when　Sir　Melmoth　Osborn　wrote　thus　of　the　death　of　Cetewayo　as　having　taken　place　on　July　21；　1883；　he　was　deceived　by　some　false　rumour　which　had　reached　the　Reserve　from　Zululand　proper。　Cetewayo　did　not　really　die　until　February　8；　1884；　and　Osborn　saw　his　corpse　before　it　was　quite　cold。　An　account　of　the　circumstances　of　his　death；　which　Sir　Melmoth　told　me　afterwards　he　believed　to　have　been　caused　by　poison；　will　be　found　on　pp。　28　and　29　of　the　Introduction　to　the　1888　and　subsequent　editions　of　my　book　“Cetewayo　and　his　White　Neighbours。”
I　think　that　we　left　Ditchingham；　which　at　the　time　I　thought　I　had　let　for　some　years　to　a　gentleman　who　unhappily　died　before　he　took　possession；　at　the　beginning　of　1885；　about　ten　years　after　I　began　l