the days of my life-第12章

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　all　goes　well；　this；　I　suppose；　is　one　of　the　best　things　that　can　happen　to　a　young　fellow。　It　steadies　him　and　gives　him　an　object　in　life：　someone　for　whom　to　work。　If　all　goes　ill；　it　is　one　of　the　worst；　for　then　the　reverse　is　apt　to　e　about。　It　unsteadies　him；　makes　him　reckless；　and　perhaps　throws　him　in　the　way　of　undesirable　adventures。　In　my　case；　in　the　end　all　went　wrong；　or　seemed　to　do　so　at　the　time。
I　was　taken　by　a　friend　to　a　ball　at　Richmond；　who　gave　it　I　have　long　forgotten。　There　I　saw　a　very　beautiful　young　lady　a　few　years　older　than　myself　to　whom　I　was　instantly　and　overwhelmingly　attracted。　I　say　beautiful　advisedly；　for　to　my　mind　she　was　one　of　the　three　really　lovely　women　whom　I　have　seen　in　my　life。　The　second　was　the　late　Duchess　of　Leinster；　and　the　third　was　a　village　girl　at　Bradenham　who　was　reported　to　be　the　daughter　of　a　gentleman。　She；　poor　thing；　died　quite　young。
At　length　the　ball　came　to　an　end　and　I　escorted　this　lady　back　to　her　carriage　—　she　was　driving　back　to　London　alone　—　with　the　intelligent　object　of　ascertaining　where　she　lived。　In　this；　by　the　way；　I　failed；　either　I　did　not　catch　the　address　or　it　was　too　vague　and　general。　Ultimately；　however；　I　overcame　that　difficulty　by　a　well…directed　inquiry　at　a　butcher’s　shop　in　what　I　knew　to　be　the　neighbourhood。　It　occurred　to　me　that　even　goddesses　must　eat。
The　reason　that　I　mention　this　matter　is　that　quite　a　curious　coincidence　is　connected　with　it。　The　house　where　the　ball　took　place　had　a　garden　in　front；　down　which　garden　ran　a　carpeted　path。　At　the　end　of　the　path　a　great　arch　had　been　erected　for　the　occasion；　and　through　this　arch　I　followed　the　young　lady。　Some　thirty…five　years　later　I　was　present　at　her　death…bed　—　for　happily　I　was　able　to　be　of　service　to　her　in　her　later　life　—　and　subsequently；　with　my　wife；　who　had　bee　her　friend　many　years　before；　was　one　of　the　few　mourners　at　her　funeral。　At　the　church　where　this　took　place　it　is　the　custom　to　carry　out　coffins　through　the　big　western　door。　As　I　followed　hers　the　general　aspect　of　the　arch　of　this　door　reminded　me　of　something；　at　the　moment　I　could　not　remember　what。　Then　it　came　back　to　me。　It　was　exactly　like　that　other　arch　through　which　I　had　followed　her　to　her　carriage　on　the　night　when　first　we　met。　Also；　strangely　different　as　were　the　surroundings；　there　were　accessories；　floral　and　other；　that　were　similar　in　their　general　effect。
I　think　I　was　about　a　year　and　a　half　at　Scoones’；　making　many　friends；　collecting　many　experiences　and　some　knowledge　of　the　world。　How　much　book　knowledge　I　collected　I　do　not　know；　nor　whether　I　should　have　passed　for　the　Foreign　Office　if　I　had　gone　up。　But　it　was　not　fated　that　I　should　do　so。　In　the　summer　vacation　of　1875　I　went　to　join　my　family；　whom；　in　the　course　of　one　of　his　continual　expeditions；　my　father　had　settled　for　a　while　at　Tours。　I　travelled　via　Paris；　which　I　found　looking　almost　itself　again。　On　the　last　occasion　that　I　had　visited　it　the　Column　Vendome　was　lying　shattered　on　the　ground；　the　public　statues　were　splashed　over　with　the　lead　of　bullets；　and　great　burnt…out　buildings　stared　at　me　emptily。　I　remembered　a　young　Frenchman　whom　I　knew　taking　me　to　a　spot　backed　by　a　high　wall　where　shortly　before　he　had　seen；　I　think　he　said；　300　munists　executed　at　once。　He　told　me　that　the　soldiers　fired　into　the　moving　heap　until　at　length　it　grew　still。　On　the　wall　were　the　marks　of　their　bullets。
At　Tours　I　did　not　live　with　my　family；　but　with　an　old　French　professor　and　his　wife　—　I　think　their　name　was　Demeste　—　in　order　that　I　might　pursue　my　studies　of　the　language。
Whilst　I　was　at　Tours；　making　expeditions　with　the　others　to　see　old　castles　and　so　forth；　my　father　saw　in　the　Times；　or　heard　otherwise；　that　Sir　Henry　Bulwer　had　been　appointed　to　the　Lieutenant…Governorship　of　Natal。　Now　my　father　was　a　man　of　ideas　who　never　lost　a　chance　of　finding　an　opening　for　one　of　his　sons；　and　the　Bulwers　of　Heydon　in　Norfolk　were；　as　it　happened；　old　friends　of　our　family。　So　he　wrote　off　at　once　and　asked　Sir　Henry　if　he　would　take　me　with　him　to　Africa　on　his　staff。　Sir　Henry　assented；　which　was　extremely　kind　of　him；　as　I　do　not　remember　that　he　had　ever　set　eyes　on　me。
Accordingly　in　a　week　or　two　Scoones’　and　the　Foreign　Office　had　faded　into　the　past；　and　I　reported　myself　to　my　future　chief　in　London；　where　he　set　me　to　work　at　once　ordering　wine　and　other　stores　to　be　consumed　at　Government　House　in　Natal。
Chapter　3　NATAL
Leave　for　South　Africa　with　Sir　Henry　Bulwer　—　Arrive　Cape　Town　—　Government　House　—　Lady　Barkly　—　Bishop　Colenso　—　Go　on　to　Durban　—　Then　to　Pietermaritzburg　—　Reception　of　Sir　H。　Bulwer　there　—　Sir　George　Colley　—　Duties　of　H。　R。　H。　at　Government　House　—　Buck…hunting　—　Journey　up…country　to　Weenen　—　Zulu　customs　—　Witch…finding　—　Pagate’s　kraal　—　Great　native　war…dance　—　Lost　in　bush　—　Saved　by　Kaffir　—　More　about　Bishop　Colenso　—　Sir　Theophilus　Shepstone　—　His　friendship　for　H。　R。　H。　—　His　character　and　policy　—　Captain　Cox。
Here　I　ought　to　say　a　few　words　about　Sir　Henry　Bulwer；　who；　I　am　glad　to　say；　is　still　living；　and　whom　I　often　meet　at　the　Athenaeum　Club。　Indeed；　within　the　last　few　months　he　has　read　a　book　of　mine　named　“Marie”　in　proof；　which　book　I　have　dedicated　to　him。　I　was　anxious　that　he　should　read　it；　for　he　is　an　old　man；　and　who　knows　whether　he　will　be　alive　when　it　is　published　a　year　or　so　hence！
For　Sir　Henry　Bulwer　I　have　and　always　shall　retain　the　greatest　affection　and　regard；　indeed；　he　is　my　beau…ideal　of　what　an　English　gentleman　should　be。　Also　his　kindness　to　me　was　great。　When　first　I　know　him　some　thirty…six　years　ago；　he　was　about　forty；　and　an　extremely　able　public　servant；　who　had　received　his　training　in　various　Colonial　appointments。　He　was　most　painstaking　and　careful　in　all　his　methods；　but　to　me　his　weak　point　seemed　to　be　that　he　always　saw　so　much　of　both　sides　of　the　case　that　he　found　it　difficult　to　make　up　his　mind　which　of　them　he　ought　to　follow。
My　farewells　were　hurried。　I　find　among　the　few　documents　that　I　have　preserved　of　this　period　one　from　my　mother　which　is　signed　by　all　the　members　of　the　family　who　were　at　Tours；　wishing　me　good　fortune　and　good…bye。　Also　—　and　this　is　more　valuable　—　there　is　a　copy　of　some　verses　which　she　addressed　to　me。　These　I　quote　below。
TO　MY　SON　RIDER
（On　leaving　home。　July　1875）
And　thus；　my　son；　adown　Life’s　vernal　tide
？Light　drifting；　hast　thou　reached　her　troublous　sea；
Where　never　more　thy　bark　may　idly　glide；
？But　shape　her　course　to　gain　the　far　To　be！
Rise　to　thy　destiny！　Awake　thy　powers！
？Mid　throng　of　men　enact　the　man’s　full　part！
No　more　with　mists　of　doubt　dim　golden　hours；
？But　with　strong　Being　fill　thine　eager　heart！
Nieen　short　summers　o’er　thy　youthful　head
？Have　shone　and　ripened　as　they　flitted　by：
May　their　rich　fruit　o’er　ing　years　be　shed；
？And　make　God’s　gift　of　life　a　treasury。
That　Life　is　granted；　not　in　Pleasure’s　round；
？Or　even　Love’s　sweet　dream；　to　lapse　content：
Duty　and　Faith　are　words　of　solemn　sound；
？And　to　their　echoes　must　thy　soul　be　bent。
Conscience　shall　hallow　all；　grant　noble　aim；
？And　firm　resolve　the　paths　of　vice　to　shun；
And　haply；　in　reward；　Love’s　lambent　flame
？Through　storms　of　life　shall　shine；　like　Earth’s　fair　sun！
But　a　few　days：　and　far　across　the　flood；
？To　stranger　lands　with　strangers　wilt　thou　roam；
Yet　shall　not　absence　loose　the　bonds　of　blood；
？Or　still　the　voices　of　thy　distant　home。
So；　go　thy　way；　my　Child！　I　love　thee　well：
？How　well；　no　heart　but　mother’s　heart　may　know　—
Yet　One　loves　better；　—　more　than　words　can　tell；　—
？Then　trust　Him；　now　and　evermore；　—　and　go！
Ella　Haggard。
July　16；　1875。
I　think　them　beautiful　lines。　Moreover　they　are　typical　of　the　writer。
Duty　and　Faith　are　words　of　solemn　sound；
Well；　duty　and　faith　were　the　stars　by　which　she　guided　her　own　life。
Of　our　voyage　to　Africa　there　is　little　to　be　said　except　that　in　those　days　it　was　long。　On　arriving　at　Cape　Town　we　went　to　Government　House；　where　we　stayed　for　about　a　week　with　Lady　Barkly。
Government　House　is；　or　was；　a　large；　quaint　old　place