little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第92章

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stand　it。　The　chafing　and　firing　of　that　girl；　the　wearing　and　tearing
of　that　girl　within　her　own　breast；　has　been　such　that　I　have
softly　said　to　her　again　and　again　in　passing　her；　〃Five…and…twenty；
Tattycoram；　five…and…twenty！〃　I　heartily　wish　she　could　have　gone
on　counting　five…and…twenty　day　and　night；　and　then　it　wouldn't　have
happened。'

Mr　Meagles　with　a　despondent　countenance　in　which　the　goodness　of　his
heart　was　even　more　expressed　than　in　his　times　of　cheerfulness　and
gaiety；　stroked　his　face　down　from　his　forehead　to　his　chin；　and　shook
his　head　again。

'I　said　to　Mother　（not　that　it　was　necessary；　for　she　would　have　thought
it　all　for　herself）；　we　are　practical　people；　my　dear；　and　we　know　her
story；　we　see　in　this　unhappy　girl　some　reflection　of　what　was　raging　in
her　mother's　heart　before　ever　such　a　creature　as　this　poor　thing　was
in　the　world；　we'll　gloss　her　temper　over；　Mother；　we　won't　notice　it　at
present；　my　dear；　we'll　take　advantage　of　some　better　disposition　in　her
another　time。　So　we　said　nothing。　But；　do　what　we　would；　it　seems　as　if
it　was　to　be；　she　broke　out　violently　one　night。'

'How；　and　why？'

'If　you　ask　me　Why；'　said　Mr　Meagles；　a　little　disturbed　by　the
question；　for　he　was　far　more　intent　on　softening　her　case　than　the
family's；　'I　can　only　refer　you　to　what　I　have　just　repeated　as　having
been　pretty　near　my　words　to　Mother。　As　to　How；　we　had　said　Good　night
to　Pet　in　her　presence　（very　affectionately；　I　must　allow）；　and　she
had　attended　Pet　up…stairs……you　remember　she　was　her　maid。　Perhaps　Pet；
having　been　out　of　sorts；　may　have　been　a　little　more　inconsiderate　than
usual　in　requiring　services　of　her：　but　I　don't　know　that　I　have　any
right　to　say　so；　she　was　always　thoughtful　and　gentle。'

'The　gentlest　mistress　in　the　world。'

'Thank　you；　Clennam；'　said　Mr　Meagles；　shaking　him　by　the　hand；　'you
have　often　seen　them　together。　Well！　We　presently　heard　this　unfortunate
Tattycoram　loud　and　angry；　and　before　we　could　ask　what　was　the　matter；
Pet　came　back　in　a　tremble；　saying　she　was　frightened　of　her。　Close
after　her　came　Tattycoram　in　a　flaming　rage。　〃I　hate　you　all　three；〃
says　she；　stamping　her　foot　at　us。　〃I　am　bursting　with　hate　of　the　whole
house。〃'

'Upon　which　you……？'

'I？'　said　Mr　Meagles；　with　a　plain　good　faith　that　might　have　manded
the　belief　of　Mrs　Gowan　herself。　'I　said；　count　five…and…twenty；
Tattycoram。'

Mr　Meagles　again　stroked　his　face　and　shook　his　head；　with　an　air　of
profound　regret。

'She　was　so　used　to　do　it；　Clennam；　that　even　then；　such　a　picture　of
passion　as　you　never　saw；　she　stopped　short；　looked　me　full　in　the　face；
and　counted　（as　I　made　out）　to　eight。　But　she　couldn't　control　herself
to　go　any　further。　There　she　broke　down；　poor　thing；　and　gave　the　other
seventeen　to　the　four　winds。　Then　it　all　burst　out。　She　detested　us；　she
was　miserable　with　us；　she　couldn't　bear　it；　she　wouldn't　bear　it；　she
was　determined　to　go　away。　She　was　younger　than　her　young　mistress；　and
would　she　remain　to　see　her　always　held　up　as　the　only　creature　who　was
young　and　interesting；　and　to　be　cherished　and　loved？　No。　She　wouldn't；
she　wouldn't；　she　wouldn't！　What　did　we　think　she；　Tattycoram；　might
have　been　if　she　had　been　caressed　and　cared　for　in　her　childhood；　like
her　young　mistress？　As　good　as　her？　Ah！　Perhaps　fifty　times　as　good。
When　we　pretended　to　be　so　fond　of　one　another；　we　exulted　over　her；
that　was　what　we　did；　we　exulted　over　her　and　shamed　her。　And　all　in
the　house　did　the　same。　They　talked　about　their　fathers　and　mothers；　and
brothers　and　sisters；　they　liked　to　drag　them　up　before　her　face。　There
was　Mrs　Tickit；　only　yesterday；　when　her　little　grandchild　was　with　her；
had　been　amused　by　the　child's　trying　to　call　her　（Tattycoram）　by　the
wretched　name　we　gave　her；　and　had　laughed　at　the　name。　Why；　who　didn't；
and　who　were　we　that　we　should　have　a　right　to　name　her　like　a　dog　or　a
cat？　But　she　didn't　care。　She　would　take　no　more　benefits　from　us；　she
would　fling　us　her　name　back　again；　and　she　would　go。　She　would　leave
us　that　minute；　nobody　should　stop　her；　and　we　should　never　hear　of　her
again。'

Mr　Meagles　had　recited　all　this　with　such　a　vivid　remembrance　of　his
original；　that　he　was　almost　as　flushed　and　hot　by　this　time　as　he
described　her　to　have　been。

'Ah；　well！'　he　said；　wiping　his　face。　'It　was　of　no　use　trying　reason
then；　with　that　vehement　panting　creature　（Heaven　knows　what　her
mother's　story　must　have　been）；　so　I　quietly　told　her　that　she　should
not　go　at　that　late　hour　of　night；　and　I　gave　her　MY　hand　and　took　her
to　her　room；　and　locked　the　house　doors。　But　she　was　gone　this　morning。'
'And　you　know　no　more　of　her？'

'No　more；'　returned　Mr　Meagles。　'I　have　been　hunting　about　all　day。　She
must　have　gone　very　early　and　very　silently。　I　have　found　no　trace　of
her　down　about　us。'

'Stay！　You　want；'　said　Clennam；　after　a　moment's　reflection；　'to　see
her？　I　assume　that？'

'Yes；　assuredly；　I　want　to　give　her　another　chance；　Mother　and　Pet
want　to　give　her　another　chance；　e！　You　yourself；'　said　Mr　Meagles；
persuasively；　as　if　the　provocation　to　be　angry　were　not　his　own　at　all；
'want　to　give　the　poor　passionate　girl　another　chance；　I　know；　Clennam。'

'It　would　be　strange　and　hard　indeed　if　I　did　not；'　said　Clennam；　'when
you　are　all　so　forgiving。　What　I　was　going　to　ask　you　was；　have　you
thought　of　that　Miss　Wade？'

'I　have。　I　did　not　think　of　her　until　I　had　pervaded　the　whole　of　our
neighbourhood；　and　I　don't　know　that　I　should　have　done　so　then　but
for　finding　Mother　and　Pet；　when　I　went　home；　full　of　the　idea　that
Tattycoram　must　have　gone　to　her。　Then；　of　course；　I　recalled　what　she
said　that　day　at　dinner　when　you　were　first　with　US。'

'Have　you　any　idea　where　Miss　Wade　is　to　be　found？'

'To　tell　you　the　truth；'　returned　Mr　Meagles；　'it's　because　I　have　an
addled　jumble　of　a　notion　on　that　subject　that　you　found　me　waiting
here。　There　is　one　of　those　odd　impressions　in　my　house；　which　do
mysteriously　get　into　houses　sometimes；　which　nobody　seems　to　have
picked　up　in　a　distinct　form　from　anybody；　and　yet　which　everybody　seems
to　have　got　hold　of　loosely　from　somebody　and　let　go　again；　that　she
lives；　or　was　living；　thereabouts。'　Mr　Meagles　handed　him　a　slip　of
paper；　on　which　was　written　the　name　of　one　of　the　dull　by…streets　in
the　Grosvenor　region；　near　Park　Lane。

'Here　is　no　number；'　said　Arthur　looking　over　it。

'No　number；　my　dear　Clennam？'　returned　his　friend。　'No　anything！　The
very　name　of　the　street　may　have　been　floating　in　the　air；　for；　as　I
tell　you；　none　of　my　people　can　say　where　they　got　it　from。　However；
it's　worth　an　inquiry；　and　as　I　would　rather　make　it　in　pany　than
alone；　and　as　you　too　were　a　fellow…traveller　of　that　immovable　woman's；
I　thought　perhaps……'　Clennam　finished　the　sentence　for　him　by　taking　up
his　hat　again；　and　saying　he　was　ready。

It　was　now　summer…time；　a　grey；　hot；　dusty　evening。　They　rode　to　the　top
of　Oxford　Street；　and　there　alighting；　dived　in　among　the　great　streets
of　melancholy　stateliness；　and　the　little　streets　that　try　to　be　as
stately　and　succeed　in　being　more　melancholy；　of　which　there　is　a
labyrinth　near　Park　Lane。　Wildernesses　of　corner　houses；　with　barbarous
old　porticoes　and　appurtenances；　horrors　that　came　into　existence　under
some　wrong…headed　person　in　some　wrong…headed　time；　still　demanding
the　blind　admiration　of　all　ensuing　generations　and　determined　to　do
so　until　they　tumbled　down；　frowned　upon　the　twilight。　Parasite　little
tenements；　with　the　cramp　in　their　whole　frame；　from　the　dwarf　hall…door
on　the　giant　model　of　His　Grace's　in　the　Square　to　the　squeezed　window
of　the　boudoir　manding　the　dunghills　in　the　Mews；　made　the　evening
doleful。　Rickety　dwellings　of　undoubted　fashion；　but　of　a　capacity　to
hold　nothing　fortably　except　a　dismal　smell；　looked　like　the　last
result　of　the　great　mansions'　breeding　in…and…in；　and；　where　their
little　supplementary　bows　and　balconies　were　supported　on　thin　iron
columns；　seemed　to　be　scrofulously　resting　upon　crutches。

Here　and　there　a　Hatchment；　with　the　whole　science　of　Heraldry　in　it；
loomed　down　upon　the　str