little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第7章

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'Ah！　indeed；　indeed！'

'Yes；　and　being　practical　people；　a　result　has　gradually　sprung　up　in
the　minds　of　Mrs　Meagles　and　myself　which　perhaps　you　may……or　perhaps
you　may　not……understand。　Pet　and　her　baby　sister　were　so　exactly　alike；
and　so　pletely　one；　that　in　our　thoughts　we　have　never　been　able
to　separate　them　since。　It　would　be　of　no　use　to　tell　us　that　our　dead
child　was　a　mere　infant。　We　have　changed　that　child　according　to　the
changes　in　the　child　spared　to　us　and　always　with　us。　As　Pet　has　grown；
that　child　has　grown；　as　Pet　has　bee　more　sensible　and　womanly；　her
sister　has　bee　more　sensible　and　womanly　by　just　the　same　degrees。
It　would　be　as　hard　to　convince　me　that　if　I　was　to　pass　into　the　other
world　to…morrow；　I　should　not；　through　the　mercy　of　God；　be　received
there　by　a　daughter；　just　like　Pet；　as　to　persuade　me　that　Pet　herself
is　not　a　reality　at　my　side。'　'I　understand　you；'　said　the　other；
gently。

'As　to　her；'　pursued　her　father；　'the　sudden　loss　of　her　little　picture
and　playfellow；　and　her　early　association　with　that　mystery　in　which　we
all　have　our　equal　share；　but　which　is　not　often　so　forcibly　presented
to　a　child；　has　necessarily　had　some　influence　on　her　character。　Then；
her　mother　and　I　were　not　young　when　we　married；　and　Pet　has　always　had
a　sort　of　grown…up　life　with　us；　though　we　have　tried　to　adapt　ourselves
to　her。　We　have　been　advised　more　than　once　when　she　has　been　a
little　ailing；　to　change　climate　and　air　for　her　as　often　as　we
could……especially　at　about　this　time　of　her　life……and　to　keep　her
amused。　So；　as　I　have　no　need　to　stick　at　a　bank…desk　now　（though　I　have
been　poor　enough　in　my　time　I　assure　you；　or　I　should　have　married　Mrs
Meagles　long　before）；　we　go　trotting　about　the　world。　This　is　how　you
found　us　staring　at　the　Nile；　and　the　Pyramids；　and　the　Sphinxes；　and
the　Desert；　and　all　the　rest　of　it；　and　this　is　how　Tattycoram　will　be　a
greater　traveller　in　course　of　time　than　Captain　Cook。'

'I　thank　you；'　said　the　other；　'very　heartily　for　your　confidence。'

'Don't　mention　it；'　returned　Mr　Meagles；　'I　am　sure　you　are　quite
wele。　And　now；　Mr　Clennam；　perhaps　I　may　ask　you　whether　you　have　yet
e　to　a　decision　where　to　go　next？'

'Indeed；　no。　I　am　such　a　waif　and　stray　everywhere；　that　I　am　liable　to
be　drifted　where　any　current　may　set。'

'It's　extraordinary　to　me……if　you'll　excuse　my　freedom　in　saying
so……that　you　don't　go　straight　to　London；'　said　Mr　Meagles；　in　the　tone
of　a　confidential　adviser。

'Perhaps　I　shall。'

'Ay！　But　I　mean　with　a　will。'

'I　have　no　will。　That　is　to　say；'……he　coloured　a　little；……'next　to　none
that　I　can　put　in　action　now。　Trained　by　main　force；　broken；　not　bent；
heavily　ironed　with　an　object　on　which　I　was　never　consulted　and　which
was　never　mine；　shipped　away　to　the　other　end　of　the　world　before　I
was　of　age；　and　exiled　there　until　my　father's　death　there；　a　year　ago；
always　grinding　in　a　mill　I　always　hated；　what　is　to　be　expected　from　me
in　middle　life？　Will；　purpose；　hope？　All　those　lights　were　extinguished
before　I　could　sound　the　words。'

'Light　'em　up　again！'　said　Mr　Meagles。

'Ah！　Easily　said。　I　am　the　son；　Mr　Meagles；　of　a　hard　father　and
mother。　I　am　the　only　child　of　parents　who　weighed；　measured；　and　priced
everything；　for　whom　what　could　not　be　weighed；　measured；　and　priced；
had　no　existence。　Strict　people　as　the　phrase　is；　professors　of　a　stern
religion；　their　very　religion　was　a　gloomy　sacrifice　of　tastes　and
sympathies　that　were　never　their　own；　offered　up　as　a　part　of　a　bargain
for　the　security　of　their　possessions。　Austere　faces；　inexorable
discipline；　penance　in　this　world　and　terror　in　the　next……nothing
graceful　or　gentle　anywhere；　and　the　void　in　my　cowed　heart
everywhere……this　was　my　childhood；　if　I　may　so　misuse　the　word　as　to
apply　it　to　such　a　beginning　of　life。'

'Really　though？'　said　Mr　Meagles；　made　very　unfortable　by　the　picture
offered　to　his　imagination。　'That　was　a　tough　mencement。　But　e！
You　must　now　study；　and　profit　by；　all　that　lies　beyond　it；　like　a
practical　man。'

'If　the　people　who　are　usually　called　practical；　were　practical　in　your
direction……'

'Why；　so　they　are！'　said　Mr　Meagles。

'Are　they　indeed？'

'Well；　I　suppose　so；'　returned　Mr　Meagles；　thinking　about　it。　'Eh？

One　can　but　be　practical；　and　Mrs　Meagles　and　myself　are　nothing　else。'

'My　unknown　course　is　easier　and　more　helpful　than　I　had　expected　to
find　it；　then；'　said　Clennam；　shaking　his　head　with　his　grave　smile。
'Enough　of　me。　Here　is　the　boat。'

The　boat　was　filled　with　the　cocked　hats　to　which　Mr　Meagles　entertained
a　national　objection；　and　the　wearers　of　those　cocked　hats　landed
and　came　up　the　steps；　and　all　the　impounded　travellers　congregated
together。　There　was　then　a　mighty　production　of　papers　on　the　part　of
the　cocked　hats；　and　a　calling　over　of　names；　and　great　work　of　signing；
sealing；　stamping；　inking；　and　sanding；　with　exceedingly　blurred；
gritty；　and　undecipherable　results。　Finally；　everything　was　done
according　to　rule；　and　the　travellers　were　at　liberty　to　depart
whithersoever　they　would。

They　made　little　account　of　stare　and　glare；　in　the　new　pleasure　of
recovering　their　freedom；　but　flitted　across　the　harbour　in　gay　boats；
and　reassembled　at　a　great　hotel；　whence　the　sun　was　excluded　by　closed
lattices；　and　where　bare　paved　floors；　lofty　ceilings；　and　resounding
corridors　tempered　the　intense　heat。　There；　a　great　table　in　a　great
room　was　soon　profusely　covered　with　a　superb　repast；　and　the　quarantine
quarters　became　bare　indeed；　remembered　among　dainty　dishes；　southern
fruits；　cooled　wines；　flowers　from　Genoa；　snow　from　the　mountain　tops；
and　all　the　colours　of　the　rainbow　flashing　in　the　mirrors。

'But　I　bear　those　monotonous　walls　no　ill…will　now；'　said　Mr　Meagles。
'One　always　begins　to　forgive　a　place　as　soon　as　it's　left　behind；　I
dare　say　a　prisoner　begins　to　relent　towards　his　prison；　after　he　is　let
out。'

They　were　about　thirty　in　pany；　and　all　talking；　but　necessarily　in
groups。　Father　and　Mother　Meagles　sat　with　their　daughter　between　them；
the　last　three　on　one　side　of　the　table：　on　the　opposite　side　sat　Mr
Clennam；　a　tall　French　gentleman　with　raven　hair　and　beard；　of　a　swart
and　terrible；　not　to　say　genteelly　diabolical　aspect；　but　who　had
shown　himself　the　mildest　of　men；　and　a　handsome　young　Englishwoman；
travelling　quite　alone；　who　had　a　proud　observant　face；　and　had　either
withdrawn　herself　from　the　rest　or　been　avoided　by　the　rest……nobody；
herself　excepted　perhaps；　could　have　quite　decided　which。　The　rest
of　the　party　were　of　the　usual　materials：　travellers　on　business；　and
travellers　for　pleasure；　officers　from　India　on　leave；　merchants　in
the　Greek　and　Turkey　trades；　a　clerical　English　husband　in　a　meek
strait…waistcoat；　on　a　wedding　trip　with　his　young　wife；　a　majestic
English　mama　and　papa；　of　the　patrician　order；　with　a　family　of　three
growing…up　daughters；　who　were　keeping　a　journal　for　the　confusion　of
their　fellow…creatures；　and　a　deaf　old　English　mother；　tough　in　travel；
with　a　very　decidedly　grown…up　daughter　indeed；　which　daughter　went
sketching　about　the　universe　in　the　expectation　of　ultimately　toning
herself　off　into　the　married　state。

The　reserved　Englishwoman　took　up　Mr　Meagles　in　his　last　remark。　'Do
you　mean　that　a　prisoner　forgives　his　prison？'　said　she；　slowly　and　with
emphasis。

'That　was　my　speculation；　Miss　Wade。　I　don't　pretend　to　know　positively
how　a　prisoner　might　feel。　I　never　was　one　before。'

'Mademoiselle　doubts；'　said　the　French　gentleman　in　his　own　language；
'it's　being　so　easy　to　forgive？'

'I　do。'

Pet　had　to　translate　this　passage　to　Mr　Meagles；　who　never　by　any
accident　acquired　any　knowledge　whatever　of　the　language　of　any　country
into　which　he　travelled。　'Oh！'　said　he。　'Dear　me！　But　that's　a　pity；
isn't　it？'

'That　I　am　not　credulous？'　said　Miss　Wade。

'Not　exactly　that。　Put　it　another　way。　That　you　can't　believe　it　easy　to
forgive。'

'My　experience；'　she　quietly　returned；　'has　been　correcting　my　belief
in　many　respects；　for　some　years。　It　is　our　natural　progress；　I　have
heard。'

'Well；　well！　But　it's　not　natural