little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第214章
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the rain from Heaven had dropped upon the flowers; Little Dorrit; a
living presence; called him by his name。
'O; my best friend! Dear Mr Clennam; don't let me see you weep! Unless
you weep with pleasure to see me。 I hope you do。 Your own poor child
e back!' So faithful; tender; and unspoiled by Fortune。 In the sound
of her voice; in the light of her eyes; in the touch of her hands; so
Angelically forting and true!
As he embraced her; she said to him; 'They never told me you were ill;'
and drawing an arm softly round his neck; laid his head upon her bosom;
put a hand upon his head; and resting her cheek upon that hand; nursed
him as lovingly; and GOD knows as innocently; as she had nursed her
father in that room when she had been but a baby; needing all the care
from others that she took of them。
When he could speak; he said; 'Is it possible that you have e to me?
And in this dress?'
'I hoped you would like me better in this dress than any other。 I have
always kept it by me; to remind me: though I wanted no reminding。 I am
not alone; you see。 I have brought an old friend with me。'
Looking round; he saw Maggy in her big cap which had been long
abandoned; with a basket on her arm as in the bygone days; chuckling
rapturously。
'It was only yesterday evening that I came to London with my brother。
I sent round to Mrs Plornish almost as soon as we arrived; that I might
hear of you and let you know I had e。 Then I heard that you were
here。 Did you happen to think of me in the night? I almost believe you
must have thought of me a little。 I thought of you so anxiously; and it
appeared so long to morning。'
'I have thought of you……' he hesitated what to call her。 She perceived
it in an instant。
'You have not spoken to me by my right name yet。 You know what my right
name always is with you。'
'I have thought of you; Little Dorrit; every day; every hour; every
minute; since I have been here。'
'Have you? Have you?'
He saw the bright delight of her face; and the flush that kindled in
it; with a feeling of shame。 He; a broken; bankrupt; sick; dishonoured
prisoner。
'I was here before the gates were opened; but I was afraid to e
straight to you。 I should have done you more harm than good; at first;
for the prison was so familiar and yet so strange; and it brought back
so many remembrances of my poor father; and of you too; that at first
it overpowered me。 But we went to Mr Chivery before we came to the gate;
and he brought us in; and got john's room for us……my poor old room; you
know……and we waited there a little。 I brought the flowers to the door;
but you didn't hear me。' She looked something more womanly than when
she had gone away; and the ripening touch of the Italian sun was visible
upon her face。 But; otherwise; she was quite unchanged。 The same deep;
timid earnestness that he had always seen in her; and never without
emotion; he saw still。 If it had a new meaning that smote him to the
heart; the change was in his perception; not in her。
She took off her old bon; hung it in the old place; and noiselessly
began; with Maggy's help; to make his room as fresh and neat as it could
be made; and to sprinkle it with a pleasant…smelling water。 When that
was done; the basket; which was filled with grapes and other fruit;
was unpacked; and all its contents were quietly put away。 When that was
done; a moment's whisper despatched Maggy to despatch somebody else to
fill the basket again; which soon came back replenished with new
stores; from which a present provision of cooling drink and jelly; and
a prospective supply of roast chicken and wine and water; were the first
extracts。 These various arrangements pleted; she took out her old
needle…case to make him a curtain for his window; and thus; with a quiet
reigning in the room; that seemed to diffuse itself through the else
noisy prison; he found himself posed in his chair; with Little Dorrit
working at his side。
To see the modest head again bent down over its task; and the nimble
fingers busy at their old work……though she was not so absorbed in it;
but that her passionate eyes were often raised to his face; and; when
they drooped again had tears in them……to be so consoled and forted;
and to believe that all the devotion of this great nature was turned to
him in his adversity to pour out its inexhaustible wealth of goodness
upon him; did not steady Clennam's trembling voice or hand; or
strengthen him in his weakness。 Yet it inspired him with an inward
fortitude; that rose with his love。 And how dearly he loved her now;
what words can tell!
As they sat side by side in the shadow of the wall; the shadow fell like
light upon him。 She would not let him speak much; and he lay back in
his chair; looking at her。 Now and again she would rise and give him
the glass that he might drink; or would smooth the resting…place of his
head; then she would gently resume her seat by him; and bend over her
work again。
The shadow moved with the sun; but she never moved from his side; except
to wait upon him。 The sun went down and she was still there。 She had
done her work now; and her hand; faltering on the arm of his chair since
its last tending of him; was hesitating there yet。 He laid his hand upon
it; and it clasped him with a trembling supplication。
'Dear Mr Clennam; I must say something to you before I go。 I have put it
off from hour to hour; but I must say it。'
'I too; dear Little Dorrit。 I have put off what I must say。' She
nervously moved her hand towards his lips as if to stop him; then it
dropped; trembling; into its former place。
'I am not going abroad again。 My brother is; but I am not。 He was always
attached to me; and he is so grateful to me now……so much too grateful;
for it is only because I happened to be with him in his illness……that
he says I shall be free to stay where I like best; and to do what I like
best。 He only wishes me to be happy; he says。'
There was one bright star shining in the sky。 She looked up at it While
she spoke; as if it were the fervent purpose of her own heart shining
above her。
'You will understand; I dare say; without my telling you; that my
brother has e home to find my dear father's will; and to take
possession of his property。 He says; if there is a will; he is sure I
shall be left rich; and if there is none; that he will make me so。'
He would have spoken; but she put up her trembling hand again; and he
stopped。
'I have no use for money; I have no wish for it。 It would be of no value
at all to me but for your sake。 I could not be rich; and you here。 I
must always be much worse than poor; with you distressed。 Will you let
me lend you all I have? Will you let me give it you? Will you let me
show you that I have never forgotten; that I never can forget; your
protection of me when this was my home? Dear Mr Clennam; make me of all
the world the happiest; by saying Yes。 Make me as happy as I can be in
leaving you here; by saying nothing to…night; and letting me go
away with the hope that you will think of it kindly; and that for my
sake……not for yours; for mine; for nobody's but mine!……you will give me
the greatest joy I can experience on earth; the joy of knowing that I
have been serviceable to you; and that I have paid some little of the
great debt of my affection and gratitude。 I can't say what I wish to
say。 I can't visit you here where I have lived so long; I can't think of
you here where I have seen so much; and be as calm and forting as I
ought。 My tears will make their way。 I cannot keep them back。 But
pray; pray; pray; do not turn from your Little Dorrit; now; in your
affliction! Pray; pray; pray; I beg you and implore you with all my
grieving heart; my friend……my dear!……take all I have; and make it a
Blessing to me!'
The star had shone on her face until now; when her face sank upon his
hand and her own。
It had grown darker when he raised her in his encircling arm; and softly
answered her。
'No; darling Little Dorrit。 No; my child。 I must not hear of such a
sacrifice。 Liberty and hope would be so dear; bought at such a price;
that I could never support their weight; never bear the reproach of
possessing th