四季随笔-the private papers of henry ryecroft(英文版)-第17章

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as　in　magnificent　spirits。　All　the　way　home　I　had　been　thinking　of　my　day's　work；　and　the　morning　brain；　clarified　and　whipped　to　vigour　by　that　brisk　exercise；　by　that　wholesome　hunger；　wrought　its　best。　The　last　mouthful　swallowed；　I　was　seated　at　my　writing…table；　aye；　and　there　I　sat　for　seven　or　eight　hours；　with　a　short　munching　interval；　working　as　only　few　men　worked　in　all　London；　with　pleasure；　zeal；　hope。　。　。　。
Yes；　yes；　those　were　the　good　days。　They　did　not　last　long；　before　and　after　them　were　cares；　miseries；　endurance　multiform。　I　have　always　felt　grateful　to　Mr。……of　Knightsbridge；　he　gave　me　a　year　of　health；　and　almost　of　peace。
XII
A　whole　day's　walk　yesterday　with　no　plan；　just　a　long　ramble　of　hour　after　hour；　entirely　enjoyable。　It　ended　at　Topsham；　where　I　sat　on　the　little　churchyard　terrace；　and　watched　the　evening　tide　e　up　the　broad　estuary。　I　have　a　great　liking　for　Topsham；　and　that　churchyard；　overlooking　ore　than　river；　is　one　of　the　most　restful　spots　I　know。　Of　course　the　association　with　old　Chaucer；　who　speaks　of　Topsham　sailors；　helps　my　mood。　I　came　home　very　tired；　but　I　am　not　yet　decrepit；　and　for　that　I　must　be　thankful。
The　unspeakable　blessedness　of　having　a　HOME！　Much　as　my　imagination　has　dwelt　upon　it　for　thirty　years；　I　never　knew　how　deep　and　exquisite　a　joy　could　lie　in　the　assurance　that　one　is　AT　HOME　for　ever。　Again　and　again　I　e　back　upon　this　thought；　nothing　but　Death　can　oust　me　from　my　abiding　place。　And　Death　I　would　fain　learn　to　regard　as　a　friend；　who　will　but　intensify　the　peace　I　now　relish。
When　one　is　at　home；　how　one's　affections　grow　about　everything　in　the　neighbourhood！　I　always　thought　with　fondness　of　this　corner　of　Devon；　but　what　was　that　pared　with　the　love　which　now　strengthens　in　me　day　by　day！　Beginning　with　my　house；　every　stick　and　stone　of　it　is　dear　to　me　as　my　heart's　blood；　I　find　myself　laying　an　affectionate　hand　on　the　door…post；　giving　a　pat；　as　I　go　by；　to　the　garden　gate。　Every　tree　and　shrub　in　the　garden　is　my　beloved　friend；　I　touch　them；　when　need　is；　very　tenderly；　as　though　carelessness　might　pain；　or　roughness　injure　them。　If　I　pull　up　a　weed　in　the　walk；　I　look　at　it　with　a　certain　sadness　before　throwing　it　away；　it　belongs　to　my　home。
And　all　the　country　round　about。　These　villages；　how　delightful　are　their　names　to　my　ear！　I　find　myself　reading　with　interest　all　the　local　news　in　the　Exeter　paper。　Not　that　I　care　about　the　people；　with　barely　one　or　two　exceptions；　the　people　are　nothing　to　me；　and　the　less　I　see　of　them　the　better　I　am　pleased。　But　the　PLACES　grow　ever　more　dear　to　me。　I　like　to　know　of　anything　that　has　happened　at　Heavitree；　or　Brampford　Speke；　or　Newton　St。　Cyres。　I　begin　to　pride　myself　on　knowing　every　road　and　lane；　every　bridle　path　and　foot…way　for　miles　about。　I　like　to　learn　the　names　of　farms　and　of　fields。　And　all　this　because　here　is　my　abiding　place；　because　I　am　home　for　ever。
It　seems　to　me　that　the　very　clouds　that　pass　above　my　house　are　more　interesting　and　beautiful　than　clouds　elsewhere。
And　to　think　that　at　one　time　I　called　myself　a　socialist；　munist；　anything　you　like　of　the　revolutionary　kind！　Not　for　long；　to　be　sure；　and　I　suspect　that　there　was　always　something　in　me　that　scoffed　when　my　lips　uttered　such　things。　Why；　no　man　living　has　a　more　profound　sense　of　property　than　I；　no　man　ever　lived；　who　was；　in　every　fibre；　more　vehemently　an　individualist。
XIII
In　this　high　summertide；　I　remember　with　a　strange　feeling　that　there　are　people　who；　of　their　free　choice；　spend　day　and　night　in　cities；　who　throng　to　the　gabble　of　drawing…rooms；　make　festival　in　public　eating…houses；　sweat　in　the　glare　of　the　theatre。　They　call　it　life；　they　call　it　enjoyment。　Why；　so　it　is；　for　them；　they　are　so　made。　The　folly　is　mine；　to　wonder　that　they　fulfil　their　destiny。
But　with　what　deep　and　quiet　thanksgiving　do　I　remind　myself　that　never　shall　I　mingle　with　that　well…millinered　and　tailored　herd！　Happily；　I　never　saw　much　of　them。　Certain　occasions　I　recall　when　a　supposed　necessity　took　me　into　their　dismal　precincts；　a　sick　buzzing　in　the　brain；　a　languor　as　of　exhausted　limbs；　es　upon　me　with　the　memory。　The　relief　with　which　I　stepped　out　into　the　street　again；　when　all　was　over！　Dear　to　me　then　was　poverty；　which　for　the　moment　seemed　to　make　me　a　free　man。　Dear　to　me　was　the　labour　at　my　desk；　which；　by　parison；　enabled　me　to　respect　myself。
Never　again　shall　I　shake　hands　with　man　or　woman　who　is　not　in　truth　my　friend。　Never　again　shall　I　go　to　see　acquaintances　with　y　brothers？　Nay；　thank　Heaven；　that　they　are　not！　I　will　do　harm；　if　I　can　help　it；　to　no　one；　I　will　wish　good　to　all；　but　I　will　make　no　pretence　of　personal　kindliness　where；　in　the　nature　of　things；　it　cannot　be　felt。　I　have　grimaced　a　smile　and　pattered　unmeaning　words　to　many　a　person　whom　I　despised　or　from　whom　in　heart　I　shrank；　I　did　so　because　I　had　not　courage　to　do　otherwise。　For　a　man　conscious　of　such　weakness；　the　best　is　to　live　apart　from　the　world。　Brave　Samuel　Johnson！　One　such　truth…teller　is　worth　all　the　moralists　and　preachers　who　ever　laboured　to　humanise　mankind。　Had　HE　withdrawn　into　solitude；　it　would　have　been　a　national　loss。　Every　one　of　his　blunt；　fearless　words　had　more　value　than　a　whole　evangel　on　the　lips　of　a　timidly　good　man。　It　is　thus　that　the　monalty；　however　well　clad；　should　be　treated。　So　seldom　does　the　fool　or　the　ruffian　in　broadcloth　hear　his　just　designation；　so　seldom　is　the　man　found　who　has　a　right　to　address　him　by　it。　By　the　bandying　of　insults　we　profit　nothing；　there　can　be　no　useful　rebuke　which　is　exposed　to　a　tu　quoque。　But；　as　the　world　is；　an　honest　and　wise　man　should　have　a　rough　tongue。　Let　him　speak　and　spare　not！
XIV
Vituperation　of　the　English　climate　is　foolish。　A　better　climate　does　not　exist……for　healthy　people；　and　it　is　always　as　regards　the　average　native　in　sound　health　that　a　climate　must　be　judged。　Invalids　have　no　right　whatever　to　talk　petulantly　of　the　natural　changes　of　the　sky；　Nature　has　not　THEM　in　view；　let　them　（if　they　can）　seek　exceptional　conditions　for　their　exceptional　state；　leaving　behind　them　many　a　million　of　sound；　hearty　men　and　women　who　take　the　seasons　as　they　e；　and　profit　by　each　in　turn。　In　its　freedom　from　extremes；　in　its　mon　clemency；　even　in　its　caprice；　which　at　the　worst　time　holds　out　hope；　our　island　weather　pares　well　with　that　of　other　lands。　Who　enjoys　the　fine　day　of　spring；　summer；　autumn；　or　winter　so　much　as　an　Englishman？　His　perpetual　talk　of　the　weather　is　testimony　to　his　keen　relish　for　most　of　what　it　offers　him；　in　lands　of　blue　monotony；　even　as　where　climatic　conditions　are　plainly　evil；　such　talk　does　not　go　on。　So；　granting　that　we　have　bad　days　not　a　few；　that　the　east　wind　takes　us　by　the　throat；　that　the　mists　get　at　our　joints；　that　the　sun　hides　his　glory　too　often　and　too　long；　it　is　plain　that　the　result　of　all　es　to　good；　that　it　engenders　a　mood　of　zest　under　the　most　various　aspects　of　heaven；　keeps　an　edge　on　our　appetite　for　open…air　life。
I；　of　course；　am　one　of　the　weaklings　who；　in　grumbling　at　the　weather；　merely　invite　passion。　July；　this　year；　is　clouded　and　windy；　very　cheerless　even　here　in　Devon；　I　fret　and　shiver　and　mutter　to　myself　something　about　southern　skies。　Pshaw！　Were　I　the　average　man　of　my　years；　I　should　be　striding　over　Haldon；　caring　not　a　jot　for　the　heavy　sky；　finding　a　score　of　pensations　for　the　lack　of　sun。　Can　I　not　have　patience？　Do　I　not　know　that；　some　morning；　the　east　will　open　like　a　bursting　bud　into　warmth　and　splendour；　and　the　azure　depths　above　will　have　only　the　more　solace　for　my　starved　anatomy　because　of　this　protracted　disappointment？
XV
I　have　been　at　the　seaside……enjoying　it；　yes；　but　in　what　a　doddering；　senile　sort　of　way！　Is　it　I　who　used　to　drink　the　strong　wind　like　wine；　who　ran　exultingly　along　the　wet　sands　and　leapt　from　rock　to　rock；　barefoot；　on　the　slippery　seaweed；　who　breasted　the　swelling　breaker；　and　shouted　with　joy　as　it　buried　me　in　gleaming　foam？　At　the　seaside　I　knew　no　such　thing　as　bad　weather；　there　were　but　changes　of　eager　mood　and　full…blooded　life。　Now；　if　the　breeze　blow　too　roughly；　if　there　e　a　pelting